


Falling for the Assassin in Apartment 22B

by WidowBites



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, couples holiday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:10:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WidowBites/pseuds/WidowBites
Summary: In hindsight, this probably isn't one of her better plans.But what can she say? Eve is in desperate need for someone to masquerade around as her girlfriend for two weeks and her lovely, if not slightly intimidating, neighbour Villanelle seems like the perfect option.It has to be safer than hiring someone, right?





	Falling for the Assassin in Apartment 22B

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> So this is my first ever Killing Eve fic and I am super nervous about posting it!😅
> 
> I have plenty of other fics I need/should be working on but this idea just wouldn't let me go! 
> 
> The idea came to me after reading for hire by almostafantasia (if you haven't read it already, please go and do so - it's ace!) so I just wanna say a quick thank you for writing your amazing story <3 
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and as always, be kind, stay safe and keep on smiling!
> 
> \- SB x

“No.”

“What? You haven’t even heard the full idea yet!” 

“I don’t need to, Bill. I’m not doing it. End of.” 

He rolls his eyes and Eve takes a large gulp from her house white. It was a ridiculous idea. Really. 

“They’re professionals, y’know.” Bill tries again. “They’re paid to do what they do.” 

“I know what professional means, Bill.”

“Then I don’t see why you’re so pent up about the idea then, Eve! It’s foolproof.” 

“Foolproof? Bill, you’re asking me to take a fucking,” she lowers her voice, “escort on holiday with us.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” He replies. “I’ve used the service plenty of times.” 

Eve’s eyes nearly bulge from her sockets. “You...wait what? What about Keiko?”

“I told you back in Berlin - it’s an open marriage. If there’s any event she doesn’t want to go to then I know I’ve always got some company.” 

“Do you sleep with them?” 

Bill shrugs. “You will never know.” 

“Would _I_ have to?” 

“Not if you don’t want to. They won’t assign you someone willy nilly, Eve. You’ll scout your options out, let them know who catches your eye then you’ll set up a meeting so you can ask all the questions you have.”

“Really?” 

“Yep.” He pops the P. “Plus if you go through with this, my dear Eve, I get a complimentary bottle of bubbly when I next use their services.” 

Eve snorts. “Don’t tell me you have a rewards card with them.” 

Bill doesn’t reply and Eve swats at his arm excitedly. “You do! You totally do, don’t you! Oh my God!” 

He shoves her hand away. “You will too once you’ve signed up.”

“I haven’t said I’ll do it yet.”

Bill smiles smugly at her from over his bottle of beer. 

“Whatever you say.”

“Shut up.” 

Bill has a reply. It’s right there on the tip of his tongue when his phone buzzes on the wooden table that separates them. 

“That’ll be the Mrs. no doubt.” 

“Sending you yet another adorable picture of your daughter.”

“How _fucking_ inconsiderate of her,” Bill winks, “she knows I’m out having a couple of beers with you.”

Eve chuckles. “Is it a cute one?” 

“Of course it is.” He shows her. “Every picture of my girl is an adorable one.” 

“Isn’t that just precious.” Eve sighs. “Look at all those bubbles in her hair! Oh, I think my ovaries just exploded.” 

“She adores bath time.” Bill smiles fondly at his phone. “Daddy never misses bath time either; so be grateful that I’m here.” 

“Of course I’m grateful you’re here, Pargrave.” She reaches over and takes hold of his hand. “You always get the rounds in.”

He erupts into laughter, free hand resting over his heart while his shoulders bounce. 

“I’m a good friend. Some may even call me the best.” 

“Woh. I wouldn’t go that far, Bill. You _are_ trying to sign me up to an escort agency.”

“A very good escort agency.” He corrects her, dabbing at his damp eyes. “Seriously though, Eve. Please do consider it. Even if you only meet up with one person and decide it isn’t for you, I’ll die a happy man.” 

“You’ll die a happy man? Really?” 

He nods. “I could get shot in the back or...stabbed in the heart by some psycho bitch and I’d ascend with a smile on my face.” 

“Could you _be_ any more dramatic?” 

“I’m sure I could if I tried.” He shrugs. “But I’m far too worn out to find out.” 

Eve smirks and swigs from her drink. 

“I think you should give it a go, Bill.” 

“Normally I would,” he holds up his buzzing phone. “But my dearly beloved is calling so I need to go and take this.”

“Say hello from me!” She calls after him as he hurries through the semi busy bar. He gives her a half hearted wave before he disappears fully from her sight. Eve settles comfier into her seat, resting her left hand over her bloated stomach. 

_Why did I wear jeans today?_

Trying to shift the snug waistband to sit a little more comfier, her eyes fall to the golden wedding ring that she still wears. It feels alien on her since their divorce but she still can’t bring herself into taking it off. She fiddles with it, rocking it to and fro as her mind wanders in a way it hasn’t in weeks.

Did he still wear his ring? Eve huffs, irritated with her own head. Of course he didn’t - he was in a new relationship with that Gemma woman from school. Besides, in his new profile picture on Facebook, there was no sign of the wedding ring Eve had so lovingly at the time chosen for him. So Eve moves onto the next question. Has he thrown the ring away or is it kept safely away in his mother’s jewellery box? For one brief, terrifying second, Eve fears that she will never know...unless she sneaks into their - his - house to look for it (this was an embarrassingly drunken idea that her and Elena had both concocted up; including very roughly drawn plans over numerous pieces of kitchen roll that Eve made sure to throw in the bin the afternoon after) but Eve decides against it. 

Getting arrested for breaking and entering really isn't on her To Do list. 

Eve reaches into her coat pocket and checks her phone, seeing nothing but the bland wallpaper and a reminder to call the doctors that she had yet to complete. Even back when Eve was married, she wasn’t exactly little miss popular, but at least _he_ would text her during the weekly meet ups with Bill. Now she had no one. Eve downs the last of her wine in one, large gulp and nearly slams the empty glass back onto the table; a small part of her wishing that the glass would have shattered…

She reopens her and Niko’s text history before she can really stop herself and her eyes scan their most recent chat. 

“Almost 2 months ago....jeesh.” Eve fiddles with her wedding ring again. If she scrolls up enough, she would be able to pretend like things were back to normal, that her and Niko were back to texting every day about the most domestic of things...back to when Eve was more or less happy with her mundane life before Gemma came into the picture. 

**Niko (19:42):** Are you sure about this? It’s a lot of money for you to fork out. Xx

**Eve (19:43):** Of course I’m sure, Niko. And I’m not paying it alone. I told you I’m bringing someone. 

**Niko (19:51):** O.K. 

* * *

_“Are you sure you’re eating enough, Eve?” A fuzzy picture of her mum asks her over Skype. With her back to her laptop, Eve freely allows herself to roll her eyes. She stabs a little too forcefully into her Meal for One Shepherd's Pie._

_“Uhmma! Please, you always ask me this when we talk.”_

_“It is a mother’s job to worry about her children. Especially when her only daughter has divorced from her husband and lives in a dangerous city all by herself!”_

_“Here we go…” Eve mumbles. “This side of town is safe, Uhmma. I wouldn’t have moved here if it wasn’t.”_

_“You should have moved back home. No woman should live by herself, Eve. It isn’t safe. No matter how safe your neighbourhood is.”_

_As if on cue, there’s a loud thud from the flat next to Eve’s and, glancing over her shoulder, Eve is relieved to see her mum didn’t seem to hear it - judging by the fact that she is shouting offensive Korean at her husband._

_Eve really needs to introduce herself to her eccentric Russian neighbour._

_“Are you listening to me?”_

_She shoves her Ready Meal into the microwave and turns the timer on._

_“Yes, Uhmma.”_

_Eve hears her mother’s disgruntled sigh from across their shoddy Skype connection and finally turns to face her, nudging her more than generous glass of wine a little more out of view._

_“How is work?” Eve’s mother asks._

_“Work is fine.” What she wants to say is: “Frankly mother, my job is sucking the life clean out of me. I have to teach psychology to students who would much rather be elsewhere - myself included - all because my boyfriend at the time thought it would be romantic if we did similar jobs within similar fields and now he’s off screwing his TA in a job he loves and I’m screwing myself with my trusty vibrator and stuffing my body with crappy ready meals that are turning my insides to shit.”_

_“Just fine?” She asks. Eve forces a smile._

_“Yes, Uhmma. Just fine.”_

_Eve’s phone starts to go off and she is about to apologise to her mother by saying it’s her timer for her dinner - and not Elena for their nightly bitchy session about Frank - when she sees the caller ID and freezes completely._

_“Uhmma, I have to go.”_

_“Go? But we’ve only just -”_

_“I love you and I will call you right back, okay? It’s work.”_

_Eve hits the red hang up button before her mother has time to protest and she is left staring at Niko’s face as her phone continues to ring._

_“Shit,” She throws her hair up into a messy bun, tucking some of the free curls behind her ear. “I should let this go to voicemail.”_

_But she doesn’t._

_“Hello?”_

_Her phone is pressed tightly against her ear and she grabs hold of her wine glass._

_“Eve? Hi, erm, it’s Niko.” He clears his throat. “How are you?”_

_“I’m good thanks, you?”_

_“I’m okay. Yeah. Thanks.”_

_Silence settles over the pair and Eve takes a sip of her liquid courage._

_“So,” now Eve clears her own throat, “was there any reason you rang or did you just want to chat?”_

_“There’s a reason I rang actually. Two reasons to be honest with you. They kind of coincide -”_

_“Niko,” Eve interrupts. “You’re rambling.”_

_“Right, yeah. Sorry. So - so, I’m ringing to let you know that things between me and Gemma are getting pretty serious…”_

_'And I need to know this, why?' “Okay? Congratulations. I guess.”_

_Niko awkwardly chuckles._

_“I asked her to move in with me and she said yes.”_

_“Wow.” Eve drinks her wine again._

_“She’ll be moving in this weekend -”_

_“Jesus, Niko, don’t you dare say you want me to help.”_

_“ - what? No! No! I just want to make sure that it’s okay with you.”_

_“With me? Why?”_

_“Well, we used to live there and now you don’t -”_

_“Wow, well spotted.”_

_“ - and I just wanted your blessing. That’s all.”_

_Eve could really do with a cigarette around about now._

_“You want my blessing? Niko I really couldn’t give two flying fucks about whatever you and that harpy do together -”_

_“Eve -”_

_“No, Niko let me finish. You cheated on me with her. For half a year. Yet I still come across as the bad guy. How does that work? So if you want my blessing so you can sleep easier at night, you have it. God. I hope she loves missionary.”_

_“Please, Eve. Let me explain.”_

_“No fucking chance.” She snaps. “Was there anything else?”_

_“There is.”_

_“Are you going to keep me hanging in suspense or shall I start throwing guesses out there? Is she pregnant?”_

_“Christ, no.”_

_“Is she bored of missionary already?”_

_“Eve!”_

_She can’t help the smug smile. “Yes, Niko?”_

_“The holiday we booked.”_

_“What about it?”_

_“I’m going to go with Gemma.”_

_“I kind of figured that you would be. Be a little odd if we bunked up for two weeks wouldn’t it?”_

_“Anyway.” Eve loves how easy she gets under his skin. “I can pay you back your share of the room. It’s quite a bit of money and I’d hate to see you put out.”_

_“Why would you pay me back?” ‘What am I doing?’_

_“Because you’re...well I just assumed that you’re not coming considering it’s a couples holiday.”_

_“Bold of you to assume such a thing.” ‘Eve stop talking!’_

_“You’re seeing someone? Who?”_

_Was that a hint of jealousy Eve detected?_

_“Not that it’s any of your concern but yes, I am.”_

_“Who?”_

_“You sound like an owl.”_

_“Who are you seeing?”_

_“So how do you want to work this holiday out?”_

_Niko sighs. “I’ll sort it.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“Will you want the same style room or something less costly?”_

_“What we originally booked will be fine.”_

_“Okay.” From his side, Eve hears a door shut and a woman - Gemma no doubt - calls out to him. He shouts back. “I better go."_

_“Yeah, you better.”_

_“I’ll email you the details.”_

_“Sounds good to me.”_

_“Does your mystery man have an email address? I’ll send it to him as well.”_

_“Do you have a pen handy?”_

_“Er...no, gimme one second.”_

_Eve can hear him frantically rushing around, pen hunt in full swing and she takes a casual sip of her wine._

_“I’m still looking! Hang on!”_

_At least something’s don’t change. Eve covers the bottom of her phone._

_“Oh no...Niko...don’t bother...seriously…” she whispers with a little chuckle. “My mystery fella doesn’t believe in email. He’s Amish.”_

_“Right! I’m back. Sorry about that.” Niko sounds worn out. Eve removes her hand._

_“I was trying to tell you. Don’t bother. Just send the details over to me before Friday and I’ll pass the message on this weekend.” Her microwave mercifully beeps. Bloody finally. “Anyway. I need to run! Talk to you soon, Niko. Bye!”_

_“Yeah, bye…”_

_Eve is quick to hang up and drops her face into her hands._

_“Oh man. Why did I do that? Why? Why? Why?”_

* * *

The upbeat jingle of Eve’s text tone snaps her out of her thoughts and the jarring cacophony floods back into her ears. Tapping her phone awake again, and typing in her embarrassingly easy password, Eve notices that it’s a text from Bill. 

**Bill (18:56):** Keiko is really struggling to put peanut down so I had to dash! Get home safe and see you tomorrow. 

At least Eve is free to leave now, to dress in her grubbiest pair of sweatpants with a large t-shirt; to settle down in front of Netflix with a bottle of wine.

Now that seems ideal. 

She gets to her feet, slinging her rain coat over her arm and is gently pushing her way through the bodies when her phone goes off again. She doesn’t check it until she is outside. 

**Bill (18:58): [Photo Attached]** Just in case you change your mind...x 

Attached is the escort agencies information card, giving Eve the option to either call to arrange a free consultation or to check out their website. 

The only issue is that Eve really doesn’t know what she wants to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the lack of Villanelle in this chapter, I promise you she will make her grand appearance in the next one! 
> 
> Also I apologise for the shoddy writing, it isn't my best work - I was just too excited to post it! 🤪
> 
> From what I could find out: Uhmma is mum/mom/mother in Korean (I think!!) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
